The other night I overheard the Dancing Queen tell her best friend that
"when she was little she was very bad and naughty but that was before she
learnt what manners were". That comment intrigued me for a number of
reasons, partly because that was the first time ever she had given me any
inkling that she also remembered those early troubled days outside of the
typical early childhood memories. She then went onto elaborate what
naughty meant which in her definition included biting, hitting and kicking
amongst other activities. I did not know whether to be almost pleased that she
now realises that her previous behaviour falls into the anti-social category or
slightly saddened that she remembers it. Does that mean she also remembers
the almost frightening head banging sessions against her cot bars or hurling
things against the wall in an uncontrollable rage if I was not quick enough to
remove everything from throwing distance. I have yet to find the courage
to ask what my eldest daughter remembers of those days. I am hoping that
like the array of bruises I seemed to carry at that particular time, those
memories too have faded.
On the plus side however it is her manners that are one of her more
endearing features as she exists today. Most people express pleasure at
coming across such a well mannered child even if a little prompting is still
required every so often. And I am hoping that it is those manners that will
help her get through life and somehow become ingrained to the point of almost
becoming instinctive coping tactics; that she will be able to fall back on
those as opposed to previous meltdown behavioural traits.Or is that just wishful thinking on my part? Maybe a please and thank you during a meltdown is a bit incongruous to say the least!
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