I guess it was only a matter of time before we had to deal with the issue of
hurt arising from a child telling the Dancing Queen that she has a disability.
Though to be brutally honest, I think the hurt is more on my side at this
precise point of time. My daughter is more concerned with the fact that
her peers think she is a baby. She would not even know what the word
"disability" meant.
Also if being honest, it is actually hard to argue the "baby"
label. Relative to her peers, she is very young. Her tastes in
terms of toys, DVDs watched, books read etc certainly do lag her peers and are
possibly more in tune with those of a pre-schooler. This at age eight is
becoming more obvious. So realistically, I can't get too upset on that
score. Her current loss of confidence is also causing her to regress
slightly so she is returning to her comfort zone which again resembles that of
a younger child. She is currently watching Miffy and friends while I
write this. Again no real case to defend.
But with regards to the other accusation, my blood levels are still
simmering. It takes a lot to get me upset these days, but I guess this is
one topic that makes me see red. I know that in terms of official/government
definitions she is classed as a child with a disability, and that I can reluctantly
accept. Society is intent on making sure that its "different"
members have their appropriate labels so that even the round pegs can be
slotted into the right holes even if those holes are not necessarily squared
shape. That I can all somehow accept because there is little I can do to alter
that inherent and impersonal need for pigeon holing.
However this is the first time I have had to come to grips with the fact
that people in her day to day life may perceive her to have a disability.
In our eyes, she is who she is, end of story. She is one of the most
beautiful children/persons I have ever had to the pleasure to know and I would
not have her any other way. I would not change any of her quirks or her idiosyncrasies
even if she has interrupted me at least 20 times so far while I have tried to
write this to the point I have lost count of the number of times I have lost my
train of thought.
So I guess it has really hit home for the first time while so many autistic
people and their families campaign for acceptance. I fully accept that
the hurt arising from this particular instance is my problem. Thankfully
my child is not hurting from it so I know I should drop it. However I am
now even more conscious of the need for acceptance, so I guess that’s where I
should be re-directing my energies because again it will only be a matter of
time before the Dancing Queen understands exactly what is being said. And
I don't want her hurting from the lack of understanding that still goes hand in
hand with an autism diagnosis.
I should also be conscious of and grateful for the fact that is in fact the first real instance of having to deal with this scenario. So a big thank you to everyone that is part of her life and who love and accept her for who she is. A little girl with a huge smile and an ever bigger heart.
